


only thing we share is this small town

by livelyvague



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Making Out, Pining, Recreational Drug Use, wlw and mlm solidarity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-07
Updated: 2020-02-07
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:15:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22605343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/livelyvague/pseuds/livelyvague
Summary: Schitt's Creek but if Alexis and Stevie had been hooking up on and off the entire time. Lesbianism is sad before it gets good.
Relationships: Stevie Budd & Patrick Brewer, Stevie Budd/Alexis Rose
Comments: 8
Kudos: 106





	only thing we share is this small town

**Author's Note:**

> title from "Death By a Thousand Cuts" by Miss Swift thank you ma'am
> 
> TBH, i posted this a few months ago and then promptly deleted it to fix some timeline issues (i don't know whether to apologize to dan or blame him) and add some other details in there. hope you enjoy and sorry if i made this too sad LOL. this ones for the dykes xx
> 
> ps big thanks to Aly for helping me with this!!!!

_Knock. Knock._

Stevie gets up from the couch and inspects who it is through the peephole — Alexis. Okay, this is fine. Alexis showing up at her apartment at 10 P.M. is _definitely_ fine. Stevie finally opens the door and gives her a questioning look. 

“Um, David isn't here?” 

“No, I–I know. I'm here for you,” she says. Stevie’s chest tightens and she doesn’t reply. “Are you going to let me in or let me get kidnapped by a drug dealer out here?”

Stevie gestures for Alexis to come in as she’s already walking through the doorway.

“Hasn’t that already happened to you?” Stevie asks, the hint of a tease in her monotone voice.

“Yes, but at least those drugs were pure and not whatever whack I’m sure this place has,” Alexis complains. She goes straight to the wood shelving unit in Stevie’s kitchen and opens the bottom cabinet, pulling out the weed she knows Stevie keeps there. She knows where everything is at this point. She waves the small plastic bag in front of her face and raises her eyebrows in question.

“Sure,” Stevie says. Alexis gets the grinder and the blunt paper and gets to work. She’s sitting at the table silently rolling and Stevie is still standing, just watching her. The way her tongue darts out to wet the paper and her concentrated face is so undeniably _adorable_ and sexy to Stevie. She needs to look away. 

When Alexis is done with the blunt, she presents it to Stevie with a smile. “Lighter?”

“You know where they are,” she says bitingly. 

“Feisty today?” Alexis teases as she walks to the kitchen again, grabbing the lighter from the drawer where she knows has one. She puts the blunt in her mouth and brings the lighter up to the end — orange flame lighting her face, the flicker reflecting in the blue of her eyes. Alexis breathes in deeply, holds it in and looks at Stevie as she blows the smoke out towards her. “Want a hit?”

Stevie just nods and takes the blunt from her fingertips, making sure not to brush their fingers together. They’re still standing in the middle of Stevie’s apartment, just passing the blunt back and forth. Stevie doesn’t want to sit — can’t have her thigh brush Alexis’ or feel the warmth coming off of her. There’s a respectable, good, _friendly_ distance between the two. 

God, what is Alexis _doing_ here? Showing up at Stevie’s apartment like it’s nothing — like she didn’t rip out Stevie’s heart and throw it into the ocean to sink. Alexis is laying out across the couch now, giggling softly to herself and putting out the blunt.

“Sit next to me, Stevie,” Alexis says sitting up. She pats the spot next to her on the couch but Stevie doesn’t budge, just stands with arms crossed. Alexis actually _pouts_ , lips dramatically turned down. 

“What are you doing here, Alexis?” Stevie asks, an edge to her voice that has Alexis looking hurt and surprised. “You can’t come here, smoke my weed and… and pretend like you’re my friend.” 

“Stevie, I _am_ your friend, I—”

“No. You’re Ted’s girlfriend,” Stevie spits out. When it all happened, she didn’t have the heart to be mean to Alexis. Stevie knew it wasn’t going to be a long term _situation_ when they first started hooking up. It just… happened, Stevie guesses. It wasn’t like the world had aligned for them to be together and have a happily ever after. In the first few weeks that the Roses showed up in Schitt’s Creek, Stevie took Alexis to the dumb bonfire to “connect” with some townies. Instead, they both ended up getting pretty tipsy and headed back early to hook up at Stevie’s. It had been a while for both of them — hooking up with _girls_ , at least. 

But then, it just _kept_ happening. Alexis would come over a few nights a week and they’d smoke and make dinner, maybe play some games. Then have sex — fucking _mindblowing_ sex, if both of them were being honest. Stevie couldn’t remember a time where she had such a good time in bed with someone. It was fun, it was refreshing, it felt _so_ right. Then enter Ted Mullens — a cute, good guy with a stable career and sizable income. Of course Alexis fell for him, Stevie doesn’t blame her. Except, suddenly all the good times and nights she looked forward to just _stopped_. That was that. Stevie moved on, dated other people, and Alexis was with Ted. Sure, she thought about her still. She never stopped thinking Alexis was the most beautiful girl in the world. But it was over — or so she thought. 

The night of Patrick’s house warming party, all of those butterfly-y and swirling feelings came back when they kissed. Afterwards, they ended up doing a lot more than a peck on the cheek. The entire song and dance started up all over again. Some more blissful time of smoking and cooking (Alexis got obsessed with cooking videos on Youtube and swore it was her newest passion — she was pretty good at it, honestly) and kissing and sex and listening to Alexis sing off-key in the shower. 

They didn’t talk about Ted or Emir, just that they both knew and it was “all totally fine, babe!” as Alexis put. It didn’t always feel “totally fine” to Stevie. She wished she could kiss Alexis in public and wouldn’t have to think evil thoughts about Ted whenever she saw them together. At least Stevie had her, and even if Stevie wanted more, being with Alexis was enough. 

But now, that same Alexis is standing in front of Stevie — beautiful and glowing, even if she looks sad. Still, she looks so good it makes Stevie’s heart ache. Seeing her high and sitting on her couch like all those times before, what feels like forever ago, even if it wasn’t. It always feels like lifetimes when she’s away from Alexis. Before she could have just sat right next to her, pushed back a golden strand of hair and kissed her pink lips. Now all she can do is look at her. 

“What if I said I’m _not_ Ted’s girlfriend anymore?”

/// 

Alexis is at the kitchen table, blowing on her painted nails and playing music from her phone. Stevie is absentmindedly humming along while she reads a book on the couch across from Alexis. Suddenly, Alexis is coming to sit right atop Stevie’s thighs.

“Hello?” Stevie questions. Alexis takes the book out of Stevie’s hands and puts it on the floor. “Thanks for getting rid of that. You know, I wasn’t even reading it. Just holding it, waiting for you to come put your _entire weight_ on my legs and rip it out of my hands.”

“Hm, _so_ funny babe. I weigh practically nothing, anyway,” Alexis quips. “And I’m _bored_.”

“How is that my problem?”

“I know some things we could do….”

Stevie raises an eyebrow and puts her hands behind her head. “Oh, yeah? And what are those things?”

“I could paint your nails.”

“Give me my book,” Stevie deadpans. Alexis pouts dramatically and flutters her eyelashes. “Lex.”

“Stevie,” she says hopefully, with a upturned smirk.

“You’re not painting my nails.”

“Why nottt,” Alexis groans.

“I- It’s just not my _thing_ , I guess. Pink nails — all that frilly stuff. It looks good on you, on girls _like_ you. I’m not… like that.”

Alexis touches Stevie’s face, curls a strand of hair around her finger and presses a soft kiss to her lips. Stevie’s stomach flips, loving the simple way Alexis takes care of her sometimes. 

“You’re sexy,” she says, and there goes Stevie’s stomach flipping all over again. “You’re powerful. It’s just a different kind of look. I have black nail polish. I think it will really pull your whole look together. All dark and mysterious and vaguely vampire-esque.”

“I… guess so,” Stevie finds herself agreeing reluctantly, cheeks burning red at Alexis’ praise. God, what _power_ does Alexis Rose have that makes Stevie like putty in her hands?

“Eee!” Alexis squeals and gets off her legs. “Okay, stay there and sit up.”

Stevie watches in awe for the next 30 minutes as Alexis takes her hands with the gentlest of touches and paints her nails. It’s so intimate and Stevie can’t pinpoint exactly why but it feels like her heart is about to explode. 

///

 _Not Ted’s girlfriend_. Stevie doesn’t reply — a little confused and disoriented, still thinking of Alexis's steady, soft touch as she'd painted her nails so carefully, struggling with the hint of hope and heartbreak that she feels.

“We broke up. I… I broke up with him,” Alexis explains. “I miss you, Stevie Budd.”

“What?” is all Stevie can say. Her legs feel wobbly from the weed and the declaration, so she finally joins Alexis on the couch. Maybe the weed was laced and she’s in some drug induced psychosis where Alexis Rose did something for another person — for _Stevie_ , of all people. Maybe she’s asleep and simply dreaming of Alexis, the way she does often. Or even: she got transported to another dimension — a dimension where people miss her. 

“I–I’m not, like, good at this,” she laughs and flips a strand of her hair. There’s the Alexis that Stevie knows. She wants to smile, but wills herself to not give into it yet. 

“Me, um, either.” Stevie pauses and laughs shakily. Her stomach is all twisted and her eyes are wide. Does Alexis want _want_ her? Is it going to last? Does she want people to know? Is this going to be real — like, telling family and holding hands and promises real? Stevie’s scared but more than anything she wants to kiss Alexis again. 

She doesn’t want to talk, neither of them are good at that. They’re good at kissing and smoking — it’s what they know, what they’re used to. Except, she’s pressing at herself to _ask_ those daunting specifics because she can’t get her heart broken by Alexis Rose again. She’s not sure if she’ll be able to survive it this time around. 

Alexis can hear her thinking, looking at her like she’s ridiculous and beautiful, making Stevie feel far too seen. Before she can berate herself anymore, Alexis softly places a hand on Stevie’s face, kissing her sweetly. Weed and strawberry lip gloss — one of Stevie’s favorite combinations of Alexis flavors. It’s a close second to her ‘cheap white wine and Alexis’ sugar cookie recipe she says she got from Tayor Swift’ taste. Sweet, chaste kisses quickly turn heated and messier, both of them trying to make up for lost time. Stevie sucks on Alexis’ bottom lip and bites it quickly, the way Alexis used to beg for. 

“Missed this,” Stevie breathes in between kisses as Alexis lays her down on the couch. Alexis tries to rip off Stevie’s flannel, which she throws behind them. “Hey, that’s my best flannel. Careful.”

“Is this your best gray t-shirt too?” Alexis teases, hand crawling up under the fabric, scraping along her stomach. Stevie sighs and just nods, can’t think of a good response when she feels like her veins are on fire. Alexis gets atop Stevie, straddling her thighs and going to the button at the front of her pants. 

“Your best jeans?” Alexis says, hands creeping up her thigh, finger dancing along the inner seam. 

“Gotten laid plenty of times in these things,” Stevie supplies. Alexis just nods doubtfully with a hum and kisses her again. She ruts herself against Stevie’s thigh while sucking a mark into Stevie’s neck. Stevie places her hands on Alexis’ thighs, travelling them under her dress and holding onto her hips, nails digging into the soft flesh. The way Alexis is pressing against Stevie’s body feels like coming home, like their bodies were made to fit against each other. Stevie wants to roll her eyes for feeling so sappy, but she can’t bring herself to do much else other than kiss Alexis. 

Stevie doesn’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow, but in this moment she feels divine with Alexis touching her like she’s truly wanted. Stevie cants her hips upward, into the touch of Alexis’ hand, searching for more friction. Alexis pulls away to take off Stevie’s gray t-shirt, immediately kissing and biting along her chest. 

“Please,” Stevie dares to beg. Alexis sucks a mark onto the top of her breast, and Stevie’s panting already. She’s throbbing and needs Alexis to give her more, but she doesn’t want it to end. Stevie _needs_ this. 

///

“Are you there?” Emir asks her, stopping his movements. 

“What?” 

“You haven’t made any noise in a long time,” he says. “We can do something else.”

“No, no. It’s good,” Stevie assures, even though it’s not that good. It’s _okay_ , she just doesn’t really want to look at his face right now. “Can you just…”

“Yeah, what do you want?”

“Just eat me out.”

Emir moves to pull out and move down her body, stopping to kiss along her chest and stomach. Stevie hates the feeling of his stubble against her skin, so she just pushes against his head softly, urging him to _get on with it_. Once he’s in between her legs, she closes her eyes tight and puts her arms above her head. 

Once she pictures Alexis eating her out instead, she’s finally feeling good — a tremble of a thigh and skin starting to glisten with sweat. She thinks about the way Alexis’ soft skin felt against hers and the way she would kiss and mark up Stevie’s thighs. Alexis had always been so tender with her, it was surprising. Her perfume would always last on Stevie’s skin for a while afterwards, intoxicating and sweet and girly. She misses that smell and far prefers it to anything Emir wears, or any cologne, really. 

She’s close now, thinking about her. It’s _almost_ enough. She bites her lip so that Alexis’ name won’t spill out of her lips. 

/// 

It feels so much better for Stevie to pull off Alexis’ dress, feeling the new broad expanse of skin that she’s missed. Alexis hardly ever wears a bra and tonight is no different — granting Stevie the beautiful gift of seeing Alexis practically naked on top of her, grinding down onto the tough fabric of her jeans.

“You feel so good,” Stevie breathes, toying one of Alexis’ nipples between her thumb and forefinger.

“You too,” Alexis moans. Stevie can feel how hot and wet Alexis is getting on top of her. Stevie wants a taste, wants to make Alexis feel good and know what she’s missed. She moves Alexis off her thighs and onto her back at the end of the couch. Linking her arms under Alexis’ knees, Stevie pulls her to her thighs and kisses her hard — tongue fucking into her mouth, tasting all Alexis can give her and sucking her bottom lip. 

Stevie settles between Alexis’ thighs and trails her nails from her collarbone down to the top of her [ pink boyshorts ](https://www.nancymeyer.com/La-Perla-Marble-Mood-Boyshort/PAAAAAPAOIDNDFBC/product?color=ROSE%20%2f%20SKIN) — the ones with the marble design at the top and polka dots at the bottom. They’re one of Stevie’s favorites, even though when Alexis told her the price of them she didn’t talk to her for an entire hour. Seeing them kind of makes Stevie’s heart hurt suddenly; like Alexis picked them out just for her, like she knew they’d immediately have sex. Maybe that’s all Alexis missed from her. 

“Well, come on,” Alexis says after a bit. “Aren’t you gonna feel how wet I am for you?” She takes Stevie’s hand and leads it to the front of her panties; using Stevie’s hand to rub against her clit through the thin, soft fabric. Both of them are breathing out little whines as Stevie dips into the front of her panties to slip a finger in Alexis. She’s _so_ wet and laid out beautifully. Stevie can feel herself choking up.

Stevie wants her. But that’s the problem. She wants _all_ of her. Not just the good (okay, great... okay, _life-changing_ ) sex. She wants the scent of nail polish in her apartment. She wants to get ice cream and heating pads when Alexis is on her period and she’s _insisting_ she’ll feel better with some mint chocolate chip. She wants her when she’s pitching a business idea, with her eyes lighting up and bouncing like she found the cure to cancer. She wants to take countless amounts of Instagram pictures in any angle that Alexis wants. She wants to lay next to her in bed as Alexis watches those stupid TikTok videos that she always gets stuck in her head. Stevie wants it all and just hopes that Alexis wants it all too. 

“That’s it, yeah,” Alexis moans, hand working her clit as Stevie’s fingers move inside her. Then Stevie moves her hands away from Alexis all together and sits upright on the couch. 

“W-what?”

“I… ah, sorry,” Stevie spits out. Alexis looks more confused, maybe even hurt, but Alexis doesn’t get hurt. Doesn’t ever seem to let anything break her tough, glittery exterior. She sits up too, using her dress to cover her exposed chest as Stevie pulls on her gray t-shirt. 

“What’s wrong?” Alexie says sadly. “I thought this is what you wanted.” She pulls on the rest of her dress, but she doesn’t stand up and leave. Instead, she extends a hand to Stevie and sets it on her thigh.

Stevie takes her hands in hers, examines the way Alexis’ nails are short and pink — the “Bubble Bath” shade she always used to use. She looks at her own chipped black nail polish she’s been too lazy to take off. And honestly, she likes that there’s always a reminder of Alexis on her at all times. Her hand is soft in Stevie’s. All of Alexis is soft — her body, her hair, her hands, her clothes, it’s all perfectly juxtaposed with her loud personality. Except there’s another side to Alexis. The one that's in front of her right now, holding her hand and pleading with honest-to-god sincerity in her eyes, waiting for Stevie’s reply. 

“It is what I want,” she finally says. 

“Then what’s the problem?”

Stevie pauses again, focuses on the soothing, unconscious circles Alexis is rubbing into her palm. “I don’t know what _you_ want. I’ve just watched you be happy with him. That… that’s what you left for. A-and I get it, okay? I _did_ get it. But now you’re here. Kissing me…” _Wearing those fucking panties I love_ , she wants to say. “I really fucking like you, Alexis.”

Alexis doesn’t let go of Stevie’s hand, just places her other hand against Stevie’s cheek. She kisses her softly, looks at Stevie’s face and kisses her cheek. 

“What’s that for?” Stevie asks, desperately trying to not let her voice waver. It’s too much. She wants Alexis to leave, she wants to slam the door and spend the rest of her life with boring Jake's and getting bailed on by Emir’s.

“How can you not, like, get why I’m here? Why I broke up with Ted before he left?” Alexis gestures to the rest of Stevie’s apartment. “I like what we are.”

///

“I’m gonna combust, Patrick,” Stevie whines. She leans her face on top of her hands where she’s holding the broom. Patrick is across the room, counting the till and rolling his eyes. She’s taken to helping close up for some extra cash and time with Patrick. David accepted the proposal gracefully, as he needs the extra time for wedding planning. 

“Why?” he asks, knowing _exactly_ what she’s saying. 

“Without her… it’s like my body doesn’t fit in my skin anymore.” She’s sometimes dreadfully honest around Patrick. He always understands what she’s saying and is about the only source of comfort she can get right now.

She doesn’t need a label, even though Patrick’s always telling her maybe she would feel better if she stopped denying them. He’s probably right, but she ignores that. Patrick gives her a look, that simple fond Patrick face that he always does when he’s sympathizing. 

“I’m sorry Stevie,” he says sincerely. “You haven’t talked to her, right?”

“I mean… some. She lives at my _work_ , Patrick and we were just in a show together. In case you forgot about that?” 

“No, no,” he says quickly. “You have reminded me frequently.”

Stevie’s mind wanders to the night Alexis told her she wanted to focus on her relationship with Ted and that they should stop seeing each other. She had texted Patrick to come to her apartment and cried into his arms. She was drunk and it wasn’t like she could have told David about it. But she needed someone. So, that’s how Patrick ended up being Stevie’s soundboard for every and all Alexis Rose dilemmas. 

“I know you miss her, Stevie… but you’re miserable wishing and waiting for her. It’s like when Rachel got used to me coming back to her… we got in this routine of missing each other, even if it was bad for us. I-I want you to be happy, Stevie. You’re not. You don’t even make fun of me anymore — that’s how bad it is.”

Stevie stands there, still not sweeping and thinks about what Patrick’s saying. She doesn’t tell him that he’s wrong. She doesn’t say that what she feels for Alexis is different. Because he knows that, because he’s just trying to help. Stevie’s even trying to think of a quip to combat him, to prove she’s _perfectly fine_ and that pining desperately is actually a very good look on her. She can’t quite think of anything good enough, though.

///

Alexis’ eyes are starting to tear up, looking down at her hands. She looks so sad and it’s breaking Stevie’s heart, but she has to hold her ground.

“What we _were_ ,” Stevie corrects. _Stop being bitter, Stevie — kiss her, fuck her, whatever she wants._

“Or what we _could_ be,” Alexis amends. She leans in to kiss her again and Stevie lets it happen. She lets it happen because she _doesn’t_ want to spend the rest of her life with Jake or Emir or any fucking man ever again, and getting bailed on by Alexis hurt more than anything else would. It feels good to kiss the person she loves. Stevie feels good and she wants to stop fighting that feeling. Alexis is here, finally, even though they both have given enough reasons why this shouldn’t work. But she’s still here. Stevie keeps kissing her and kissing her. Their lips are raw and pinker than Alexis’ favorite lipstick. 

“I’m… sorry, Stevie,” Alexis says, catching her breath from a dizzying kiss. Stevie nods but Alexis keeps going. “No, I mean it.” Her voice is strong and her gaze is even stronger. It’s intense, in the way that Alexis always can be. 

“It’s really over between you and Ted?” Stevie asks. 

“Yes,” Alexis nods.

Stevie’s tries to find the perfect thing to say next. Something casual, chill. Instead, she says, “you know, this is real to me.” She expects Alexis to be confused, maybe flip her wrists, call her _babe_ and let the sincerity fall between them. But she doesn’t.

“It’s real to me too.”

“Okay,” Stevie nods and fights a smile by habit. 

“Okay,” Alexis says, shaking her head a little and smiling. She presses a kiss to Stevie’s cheek again. “I want to make this work, okay? And I haven’t done anything like this before, I guess? I mean, I know I had Stavros and Ted and those other girls… but not like this, is what I’m saying.”

Stevie knows _exactly_ what she’s saying. This is more than anything Stevie has ever had or has dreamed of. It’s a start. A really fucking good start. She imagines telling Patrick about it later, him smiling at her and _dying_ because he can’t tell David. But then she imagines telling David. He’ll make fun of her for it mercilessly — _appalled_ at first, absolutely forbidding motel hookups. Then he’ll soften, know that his best friend is finally getting to be happy and herself for the first time. All Stevie can do is kiss Alexis again, even though she knows there’s more questions, more to work out. For right now though, they’ve found their way back to each other.

Alexis and Stevie finally peel themselves off of each other and end up wrapped around each other in Stevie’s bed. Heart beating against bare skin. The energy of a new beginning surrounds both of them, making Stevie’s cold apartment feel like home. 


End file.
